Thoughts from a song...

Hey guys, if you find a moment in your day today to pray, I would really appreciate it if you could pray for my Grandpa Harold Gresset who has been having problems with his heart. It's beating too fast apparently and so he has to get the defibrilator to shock him back to having a normal heart beat. My grandpa doesn't have a whole lot of health problems in his history except when he had a stroke two or so years ago. That was pretty scary, but just prayer that the doctors hands will be steady in all that they do and that the Lord's hands will protect and hold him the whole way through....that would be nice. :) He will be going under probably within an hour or so and it's 9:15 am right now.


My parents are coming home today from Palm Springs, they said sometime in the afternoon around five, so that's on my schedule today for things I gotta do. Also, I'm planning on going shopping for Christmas gifts for my family so maybe that will help me relax a bit.


I was listening this morning to a song called, "You'r Beautiful" by Paul Wright, and it just really made me think...so I thought I'd write my thoughts about it down. There's a couple of songs that just really have this effect on me, and this song is one of them. Here are the lyrics...pretty profound....I like them.


"the world is watching us from a distance,
wanting more from their own existence
tell me how do we make a difference for
eternity, does anybody want to know why we're alive
oh oh oh oh, what's the purpose of this life?oh oh oh oh
before i die and i leave the world behind,
i want to know why i'm alive.
you're created for the creator
to live inside, there's a hole in your soul, and i know that you try,
to fill it with every little thing but the very one who can heal it,
and bring hope to a world that wants to know why they're alive!
spirit cry for this generation (generation),
we're chasing the wind trying to embrace it,
open our eyes to all the lies that we try to justify when deep down inside
all we want to find is someone that loves us all of the time and it's you
yea it's you oh oh
only you
yes it's you
oh oh oh
you're beautiful, came down from heaven just to save my save my soul,
beautiful oh oh oh oh oh
you're so beautiful,
the people of this world are praising you and they arebeautiful oh oh oh oh
you're so beautiful came down from heaven just save my save my soul,
beautiful oh oh oh oh oh
now i'm beautiful."


Wow, there's so much to say about this song...it's so true about us as humans and our need for God. Many ignore this pull from God, or try to pass the inner tug on their heart as if it's something else that they can fill with other unimportant things. I know that I have a hole in my heart that can never be filled but by God only. So often I will try to fill it with other things...things that I can control...things that are only partially satisfying and give me only temporary pleasure. It's such a terrible/beautiful need. I've learned that God did not create me for my own benefit, but for himself. I was made for Him to enjoy, not the other way around. There is no point to my life that is going to give ME any glory...it's GOT to be ALL about Him, or else he won't have it. I can't be selfish and a Christian at the same time. There are people out there that need to feel the love of God and this song really convicts me of my selfishness. It's so unChrist-like. :( How can I tell people that I am a Christian and be such a selfish person?? This past year I have been trying to make this idea of selfishness slowly dissolve, and the more I try, the more I realize that it's a hopeless cause...I'm naturally selfish by birth in sin. I have this HUGE, pathetic/desperate need for Goodness in my life, Humility, Grace, Faith, Gentleness, Love, Peace, and Patience....none of which I can seem to acquire on my own! It's frusterating! I can gain absolutely none of this by anything that I do! aggh! (sometimes it makes me just want to pull out my hair haha!) But I just need to be reminded that it's all about God. It's ALL about God. I get nothing, he gets everything. Now that I think of it though... for saving my soul and loving me ALL the time (even when he is disciplining me), and despite of my sin and who I am for the rest of eternity...I think I get the upper hand of the deal. I get to have a Savior. I get to have someone who is always looking out for me to protect me in every way. He is truly GOOD. No other human can ever be that for me. He's so refreshing from this world. Haha, this thought just occured in my head and I hope I'm not crazy for thinking this, but if you think about the movie "Twilight", there's a line where the vampire dude is saying to the girl that she is like his own personal "drug" because he loves her so much...haha, I kinda thought this was a cool tie to how my relationship with God is when it's at it's most authentic, genuine point. He is like my own personal drug that gives me a dose of Goodness, Love, Faithfulness, etc. The qualities that Jesus posesses makes ME want to pursue Him. And since I'm a girl, it sometimes feels weird or out of place to be the one pursuing, but he's the one man in my life that I know I will be completely safe in pursuing. His qualities are so incredible I just can't help but to desire Him.


This is a weird thought of mine, but I'm going to be bold and say it anyway....if you are at all reading this blog for the first time, (these blogs can basically be shown out to the whole world these days so I wouldn't be suprised) and you don't know Christ as your savior...you should comment on this and I'd love to talk with you, listen to your story and maybe even get a chance to pray for you. God has wonderful plans for all of you...plans of which may be different depending on the eye of the beholder, but my desire for you is that you have God to live your life with for forever, who truly can fulfill yours needs and heal your brokenness. He is a Faithful God.


And to the rest of you who have been following this blog, thanks for hearing me out, sorry I kinda went crazy on this thing, but I just felt for today that if I'm gonna have a blog, I may as well try to praise God with it. Have a blessed day everyone, I love you. :)